~~~ibu~~~
less than a week from now...
i used to think positively about the outcome of this pregnancy, but not for this past few days. i dont know..my mind kinda rejected all the positive thoughts, and only instilled all the bad and negatives ones.
Afraid of Unknown...the best way to describe what i am feeling now.
i dont know...i want to dream ... to have a baby, bring him home, have him in my room, nurse him when he is hungry, hubby happy seeing the baby...
but what i have in mind is totally out of the place...i dream of coming home after delivery with empty handed, red eyes, tears streaming down my cheeks, and no baby! i dont know...am i stressed out about this coming labour?
at one stage, i want this phase to be passed quickly.i want to deliver at this very second. but then, at another, i dont know whether this may be the last chance of having him inside me. of bearing him inside my womb, feeling him moving. thus, make me feel like stopping the clock, the hour altogether...i want to treasure this feeling while i have him inside me.i dont want to lose him while i have him...i dont know...
ya Allah...please give me the strength and determination,to undergo this phase all over again. please... I want a baby soo much!!
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