lie...

i hate lies, and i hate liers...

last night when i spoke to hubby on the phone, hubby seemed in rush to hang up the phone. he said he was doing calls that night and the next day as well. thinking that hubby might be in the middle of someting ie admitting patients etc, i hang up as hubby also promised to return the call at a later stage.

so,i waited for his call. but after couple of hours, he still did not get back to me. i wonder, as at that stage hubby would already finished his oncall. so, i called him..

after a short while talking to him on the phone, hubby revealed that he was actually lying to me earlier on. he was not oncall that night, but since he had a friend with him in the house and they were enjoying playing soccer at xbox 360 at the time i called, he wanted to ignore my call, thus lying that he was on-call probably the best way he thought (i think) to get rid of me.

anger and dissapointment overwhelmed me the minute he told me that. i hang up straight away!!! i was furious. why not just tell me the truth that time, as i would not bother u if i knew. i know soccer is ur favourite, and to have friend to play together always make u happier. i would let u off if only i knew. but u lied. i was sad...

and i was dissapointed too. i thought u know me better than anyone else. u know that i would let u play if u want. just dont tell me lies. i hate it.

but in a way, i regret the fact that i hang up on u. that was rude, i know.i'm sorry syg. i was sick of coughing and being sick that night, and i could not bear adding more sadness to my misery.i thanked u for telling me the truth. thanks syg. i should have told u that i did not like u lying. u used to be truthful to me, and i trust u more than anyone. i just could not bear the fact that someone i love, someone i trust lied on me.

promise me u will not do that again to me anymore. just tell me the truth,even if it is hurtful. that is better than lying to me. it aches my heart...

i love u syg. thanks for giving me a call the next day and apologized. it was not the apologize that i want, but to know that u know that i hate lies. thanks syg. thanx soo much.

maybe being far and alone makes my heart cries every second we are apart. and my being fragile, causing me sad. even ur single simple mistake made me outrageously mad. i'm sorry syg.

i dont know if other factors that caused me to be mellow tonight. i am sad, and am crying.

oh Allah, please heal me from this coughing. i am tired of it already.

and to syg, semoga sihat selalu. sy doakan selalu.

and to baby, ibu want to see u in the scan this coming monday. please be healthy for me. please...ibu just cannot bear to lose another baby.

(to along, just ignore any grammatical error or any feeling/luahan perasaan by me. xbetul sket lately ;p)

to me, be strong! dont be a cry baby ok.