...

sayang...i will miss u every single minutes we are apart...

getting ready...

arini kene kemas2 barang utk ke Galway esok. huhu...sedihnye nak tinggalkan rumah The Moorings ni.sayu pulak rase hati. yg paling sedih, aku akan berjauhan dgn hubby. harap2 dengan doa hubby, semua akan berjalan lancar. hubby kate, die xkan rindu saya, tapi akan rindu baby. ade ke macam tu??huhu..

1 Muharram 1430H

oh yes...Happy New Year to all..we Muslims celebrated our new year today!

Limerick...

we just got back from Limerick last night around 7 pm. we spent 2 whole day of weekend in Limerick this time. actually we went there with no particular reason. we(hubby actually) just thought to visit Mas and spend the night playing games (as usual) when the two meet each other.

so, on the day of Boxing Day, i went shopping with hubby. hehe..hubby yg kuarkan duit sebenarnye. we went to Next in Merchant's Quay before heading our way to Harvey Norman. actually, i did not plan to buy anything, but having seen other berbondol2 datang and bought everything they can grab, teringin jugak nak beli sthg. i ended up buying a wool shirt, and a dress which were half priced. we also bought some clothes to aisyah and sarah, and muaz (dj hisham's). hubby wanted to buy for our own baby as well, but since it's too early, and the clothes are all suitable only for winter, we did not buy anything for baby. takpe, baby can wait till summer sale. hehe....

so, after Asr, we headed to Limerick.reached there at around 7pm. after dinner, we played BomberMan Wii with K.aini and Mas. that was fun!!
then, with we both tired, and the kids became cranky, we spent our night in Mas' House. oh yes, MasMahady's family has moved to a new house (k.Ani and Ajis' House). it was big, and Aishah and Sarah got a big and spacious living room cum play room to play in.

the next morning, we had breakfast, and played the same game again. at about 1pm, we started our day with shopping in Childer's Road. I bought a 3in1 microwave(+grill+oven) which costs me 100euros (and hubby paid for it as well *wink*,hehe). saje nak wat balik m'sia for our house there. then,we continued our mission in Dunnes Store. hubby did not buy anything, but I did spend precious 50 quid on clothes.

so, we went to Mas' house again and waited for them before headed our way to Bell,K.Jaz's house. we did not actually know any of them, but since mas ajak, and i kinda know them by face thru facebook, so we decided to join in. hehe, actually, after we got back from the house, hubby admitted that he felt so awkward to be in a house of someone that he is rarely known (apart from they had played badminton together a long time ago). hehe, that was why we wait for Mas's family to go with together.hehe..

so, with our stomach full,we touched the road and headed back to cork. hubby started to become depress. he is working tomorrow after a full 2 weeks break. i surely would feel the same if i were him...pressure woo...hehe...

okayla...nak tido. hubby x ngantuk since balik td. lepas main game, die kemas rumah ie sidai baju semua.hehe...getting ready for tomorrow la tu. sure tgh cari white coat jugak tu ;p.hehe...okayla, nak tido. esok nak packing brg2 to Galway.

Fortunately, hubby will be able to send me to Galway on 31st. he is off that day. yeay! hepi hepi...

mengidam 2

yesterday, i cooked so-called pasta after more-than-a-week craving for it. tp, bile nk mkn, perut xnak terima la plak. maybe sbb lamb minced meat,dats y kot.

tetibe arini, insist jgk hubby beli domino's pizza. teringin sgt nk mkn pizza. lapar, tp choosy betul bab mkn ni. nk mkn certain food je.

alhamdulillah, pizza ok plak.perut bleh terime. teringin nk mkn nasik sedap. tp mls btul nk msk.huhu...bau2an bile masak ni tibe2 rase busuk. ntah ape2 ntah,haha...teruk.padahal aku sendiri yg msk...

agony...

i'll be leaving hubby for 6 months as my new job in galway demands me to stay apart between each other.it agonizes me as day passes by. i want to be by hubby's side all the time, but job does not permit me to do so. i'm going to be alone during weekday, but we'll be seeing each other on weekends. it's sad but that the least we could do for the moments. i know we'll be missing each other soooo much. and the baby will be missing his/her father as well....

movies marathon...

these past 3 days,we've been spending our time watching tons of movies. at first, we only watched movies that i downloaded before but never got the time to watch, but after that, i began to download more movies n watch it as soon as it finished downloaded.

my...our nights is like watching non-stop movies in cinema. it's fun when we are watching comedy/family movies, but when it horror/stunt movies, i give myself up. no way i'm watching those movies without screaming/jumping around/hug hubby. it's scary, but hubby always looks cool. i wonder how he/anybody does to stay calm watching horror/ghost movies ie killing each other,stabbing, watching someone dies etc. i'm always scared. i wont be staying at one place for more than a minute if i watched these movies.

hehe...i like watching mamma mia's. it's fun. i dont like The Mirror movies, it rushed my adrenaline to its max.huhu...my threshold for being scared is very low...

mango season!!!

yes...musim mangga (malay translation,haha)

last 2 days, we went to Dunnes Store and bought 4 extra large Manggo which is produced in Brazil for only 65 cent each. really cheap for us yg selalu minat makan mango.

usually the price is 1 euro for small mango (only sometimes 70 cents each during offer), and for large mango is 2 euros++ each.but we got EXTRA LARGE mango for 65 cent!!rasa mcm nak borong je semua mango kat situ. but thinking that we have only 2 stomachs to fill in, plus each of thos mango is really huge, we only bought 4 of them, since we have already bought 2 from Aldi for the same price but smaller.

here are some pictures i have taken mase nak makan the second mango. 1 mangga tahan 1 1/2hari utk 2 org. huhu...besar!besar dr tapak tgn. nak mengupasnya pon dh lenguh sbb nak menahan weight mangga. tapi puas hati memakannya. terasa nak pegi borong lagi sblm habis.haha...tamak tamak. nafsu haloba betul.hehe...

the mango texture here is really different that what we usually eat back home. kat sini, isi die biasenye lebih keras, more crunchy,less moist, but sweet. good source for vitamin C, beta carotene(as told by hubby) and fibre. kalau kat M'sia, lebih lembut, kadang2 masam,kdg2 tersangatlah manis, kecik2 but it's better in comparison to mango here. nothing better than what we have back home...


mango lebih besar dr tangan. serious...

last week bersama hubby...

agenda utama hubby during study leave; PES 2006 on xbox 360!


this week marked the second week for hubby's study leave. nothing much has been going on these past few days, with me being sick, we ended up did not go anywhere,only stayed at home all day enjoying our last precious moments together.

At the end of this week, i will need to seriously pack my stuffs and get moving to galway. it will be our first time living far between each other, apart during rotation in our final year. i will be missing him a lot, definitely.but career is a career, i have to do this for myself n my baby. i need my brain to get working again, rather than getting dusty by doing nothing at home. err..not practically nothing, but profesionally, it is none. i became soo lazy to read at home. i even postpone my MRCP xm, which proved how malas i am.

anyway, new place always come with new challenges, either to adapt with the new environment, also with new responsibilities that i will carry on my shoulder. scared,and anxious. but i need to prove to myself than i can do it. yes, fizah can do it. i need to overcome any obstacles that lies ahead for my own pride and sanity. and hubby is always with me on every decision i made which makes me truly grateful.

to baby, ibu will make sure that even with the workload, ibu will never ignore u. membesar dgn sihat ye syg. ibu will make sure that our health comes first. i luv u baby.

to afnan, doakan ibu survive ye syg. insyaAllah, mybe hujung minggu ni ibu gi tanam batu nesan yg tok ayah afnan buat, only for u afnan. their second grandchild, my very first and the one i love most. till we meet in heaven...syg anak ibu...

once upon a time in inchydoney...

pics taken sometime in summer 2008

miscarried...

the news i got from a best friend of mine certainly makes me worried. really worried, and anxious.

she is already 14 weeks into her first pregnancy on her first visit to klinik desa, when a midwife there told her that she could not feel the baby in her tummy. from what i've learnt, by 14 weeks, the uterus would extend up to midway between pubis and umbilicus. so, she was refered to the doctor to be seen. her scan showed that she was instead only 8 weeks gestation, not 14 weeks as she think she is.

she was again refered to specialist who did another scan and confirmed that there was no heartbeat and the baby was only 7 weeks, 1 week less than the 1st scan.
a week later, she lost the baby as she had some blood loss. now, she is recovering.

me?i am into my 9th week pregnancy now, and it does scares me knowing that someone who is dear to u just lost a baby. i dont want to suffer a second loss. hilang afnan is enough to make me insane. taktahulah ape jd if anything bad happen to the baby i carry in my womb. nauzubillah...semoga yang terbaik sahaja utk baby kali ni.
i'll make sure i'll do anything i can to protect this baby, insya Allah...

to my friend, sabar byk2 k. semoga sihat, dan selamat. i'll pray u the best in health and life, insyaAllah. rezeki akan ada nanti.

to me, semoga selamat menempuh hari2 mendatang. kene byk tawakkal dan sabar ye. insyaAllah, if Allah wants this baby to be yours, she/he will be yours. insyaAllah...

Aner+najmie

selamat pengantin baru to Aner and Najmie.

semoga jodoh yg dibina berkekalan hingga ke akhir hayat. semoga beroleh zuriat anak2 soleh solehah.

cant wait to see ur wedding pictures! (thanx to along for uploading the photos.)

Cork On Ice...

g


disebabkan keletihan berjaga sepanjang pagi semalam, i only woke up after hubby came into the room and urged me to perform Zuhur prayer as the clock already showed 1.30pm. for your information, my biological clock has been haywired these past few weeks/months. kdg2 i'll be sleeping all day, and berjaga all night. hari ni, syikin, shikin and rokiah came to our house on their way to go to Cork On Ice in East Gate (www.corkonice.ie) , Cork. hubbby seemed interested in going together with them. iyelah, last time main ice-skating for him pon about 5 years ago, mase 2nd year (zaman x bercinta lagi) ;p.

so, since hubby nak ikut, aku pon bersiaplah sekali. nak main skali, tapi atas alasan yg x dapat dielakkan (i luv u more than ice skating, my baby =) ), so x delah main. hubby pon insist kate die nak tgk2 je, xnak main, walhal i know that he is keen on playing for the 2nd time. so, we took off around 3.00pm from my house. went to shikin's house and wait for them to get their gloves. at about 3.30pm we were already on the road. with the help og GPS, it was very easy to find the place. only 15 min from cork. we went into the place,and looked around.

when roque was about to pay for the entrance fee, i asked her to add puden into the list. i knew well that he wanted to play the game, but because i did not want to, so die pon x jadi nak main..die cam excited bile dapat main. hehe, and i was soo excited as there was a place i can sit and view them skating from the side.

at about 4 pm, they went into the skating area, once the skating-workers finished cleaning up the area after the last batch. shikin was trying hard to skate on the ice,with syikin along helping her when she needed hand. roque was there too. hubby???he was busy skating around like an expert, though adelah sekali dua(or more??) terjatuh atas ice.haha. siap ade sekali tu, worker die dtg tolong hubby bangun. hehe..terpaksa gelakkan jelah hubby dr jauh...

as for shikin, asyik kat tepi2 je.hehe..sian plak, asyik jatuh je. she looked unstable on ice. ala...aku pon macam tu. byk jugak jatuh2 dulu mase main kat Bristol, mase 1st year 2002 kalau x silap.hehe...gelakkan org, sebenarnya, diri sendiri pon same.muahaha..

sadly, i took so many pictures but they were all gone. suddenly, the camera has some problem with the memory card i guess. so, semua gambar2 awal2 semua hilang. tensi. dahla ade byk gambar shikin and hubby jatuh ;p. hehe..

nasib baik, roque brought along her new SLR camera. and i have my 2nd MS pro duo memory card.so happy, that i took a lot of prictures of them. susah senang main ice-skating. ade kala jatuh, ade kalanya berdiri.hehe...

they finished playing at 5 o clock. i was kept busy all the way with taking pictures with both cameras, x sedar waktu sejam berlalu dgn pantas. cam MAMARAZZI plak asenye arini.hehe...bile dh abeh main, hubby dok complained sakit tgn, sakit lutut, sakit semua.sian...hehe...but it worth it, according to hubby.

takpelah...ibu main ice skating bile baby dah selamat nanti k. ibu ada byk masa lagi... as long baby sihat, ibu x kisah x main ice skating pon ;p

unwell..

i felt really unwell yesterday, or should i say, for the past few days... nocturnal coughing, and sometimes it became worse when i am cold/being outside, and felt fatigue all day. why?i dont know...maybe got a viral infection from someone,somewhere...

what worries me most is, 2-3 days go, red rash came out from nowhere on top of my periorbital lid. it kinda circles my right eye. the first time i noticed it, is when i was in Kak Ee's House. I felt something not right with my eyelid, thus asking Asma'who was present at the time, whether there is something wrong visible with my eyelids, and she could not see anything obvious. but a day after, ruam2, mcm heat rash was visiby clear. hubby noticed it at first until later was convinced when i look into my left eyelids in the mirror.

thousand questions appear in mind, start pk is this some kind of rubella activation la..or shingles la...buat menakutkan aje. but it does give me trouble in mind, more towards thingking of unborn baby in me. i wish no harm done on him. ya allah, selamatkanla baby dari segala kesakitan/kesusahan.

last night, we invited syikin, shikin and roque over to our house. masak bakso simple2 and buahan2 (pisang kaki, and honey dew). syikin plak bwk pringles and kek coklat bulat2 (ape dah name die) and carrot cake.

so, we did some makan2 first, chit chat until later on we ended up playing bomberman Wii. syikin x puas hati sbb kalah. hehe...pastu, sblm balik, i let them play WiiPlay. hehe, i like to hear their laughter, which makes me feel glad, though tgh sakit kepala. somehow, batuk2 pon hilang malam tu. haha ;).

lps diorg pulang, saya ajak hubby sambung bomberman. hehe. biaselah...bile main ngan hubby,he will be always the one who wins. but, i guess i will have more time to practice in the future. hehe...nanti ajak hubby rematch kat Galway nanti.hehe ;p

mengidam...

recently..semua benda terasa enak di mulut. bermula nak makan nasik ala2 pakistan,kami beli nasi Indian Moon.
lepas tu pula, nak makan roti. beli roti peccan croissant yg mahal di Tesco
lepas tu, nak makan pasta. sebab kempunan syg x belikan pasta,aku masak spageti goreng yg x jadi. baru2 ini masa bertandang ke rumah K.Aini MasMahady, kebetulan ada pasta, terasa lepas kempunan bila merasa pasta.
Kempunan nak makan Fried Chicken Kashmir dan Kebab Chicken Syawarma pon dah lepas sbb hubby belikan semasa dalam perjalanan pulang dari Limerick ke Cork hujung minggu lepas.
2 hari lepas, tetiba mengidam nak makan nasi kosong dgn kicap dan telur mata kerbau. mission acccomplished a few minutes after that slps makan. sedap.teringat zaman kanak2 dulu.itu sudah cukup mengenyangkan bagi aku masa budak2. hubby agak terkejut sbb masak nasi+telur pd pukul 11 malam. nak makan punya pasal..haha...x kira...
Semalam dan hari ini, teringin sangat nak makan sushi. siap mimpi2 nak masak sushi. jadi, awal2 lagi mintak hubby belikan katbandar bahan2 utk membuat sushi. betul2 teringin nak makan...Alhamdulillah...rezeki sushi hari ni.
esok2,xtahu mengidam nak makan apa plak...

a longggg day....

winter supposed to have shorter hours in daytime, but longer hours for the dark nightime. but today, the day we went out from our house is during morning where the sun just rised above our head, and back home only after the sun almost set down in the north. what a long day wasted by waiting and waiting...and waiting in CUH Maternity, Cork.

The day started, emm...the night before, where we went to Limerick to Ariri& Kak Ee's House celebrating hari raya and isa's 2nd birthday. after few hours spent there, we spent another few hours in Mas Mahady& K.aini's house after that to help and assist them in moving house. while the guys( hubby, Fairuz, and MasMahady) transfering all the boxes to the new house, Asma' and me helped K.Aini packing all the utensils and kitchen stuffs and put them in boxes so that later on, the guys can bring along the boxes with them to the new place.

later around 11pm, we started our journey home. It was pity since Fairuz has to do oncall the next day. he seemed tired after all day being out having fun with Asma' in Limerick with us.

so, hubby drove all the way to Cork alone while other all asleep in the car. by the time we reached Cork, the clock showed that the time was already 2 am. what a long journey we have. so we went to bed straight away, only to be awaken at 10 am the next day!!!

10am???!!!!my appointment is at 9 am!so, with no delay, we rushed to the toilet brushed teeth and get prepared. Amazingly, we were already in car 15 minutes after that. It was incredible, a guiness world record for us, since we usually take more than half an hour to get prepared before going out anywhere. we need to bath, find clothes, iron them, wear them, wear tudung, adjust them, wear perfume etc etc. but today, we went straight after brushing teeth!haha...sape suh bangun lambat. sape suh tak kunci jam??subuh tertinggal la pagi tu...

we reached CUMH 10 min after that. I was asked to wait until later, called to go into the room by nurse, only to be told to go out there again and filled in a new file for the 2nd baby. Noody told me to bring the file to the Receptionist once finished. so, I ended up holding the file for half an hour to 45 min, until one of the nurses who originally gave me the file asked me to bring to the Reception. well, she should have told me earlier rather than make me waiting for nothing.

so, I went to the receptionist, only to be told to bring the file to go to Fetal assessment Unit to get the scan. yeay, first scan for baby. I was very delighted. but then, my happiness faded away after seeing the queve. my God, too many people waiting! i passed the file to the receptionist there, and she advised me to go for cuppa first as there were sooo many people waiting.so, we headed to coffee station restaurant in the hospital, and found the place was full. no free seats left in the main area except outside in the cold. no way i'm going to sit outside in this winter.

so, after having brunch, we headed back to the fetal assessment Unit. we had to wait for another hour before my name was called. crazy eh?but i was lucky since i Got the registrar to do my scan. most of the patients had their scan done by the Ultrasound Nurse. my baby is still small but is doing well. he/she is already 8 weeks 3 days by the scan. Alhamdulillah. i was soo worried ,that is why i asked the Reg few times is my baby doing ok??he said that the baby is fine. I am convinced. Alhamdulillah...

my waiting did not end there. i was then asked to book scan in 4 weeks time, and to go to High risk Clinic to get my urine and BP checked and history to be taken by nurse.so, again, i have to wait for an hour or more, only to be called by nurse and for her to take the history. what a long waiting!

while with her, i got my Iron measured=11.3. which is good. urine was NAD.and the BMi was taken and it was 27.7!what???huhu...i always thought my BMI is 26-ish.but it is in fact 27plus.huhu...

anyway, once we finished with the nurse, we have to wait for the doctor to call us in. Luckily, it was not as long as waiting for the nurse. i was called in by the Consultant, Dr Richard Greene only about 10 minutes wait after seen by the nurse. Alhamdulillah. Inside his room, he mentioned to me that he has read the letter written by Dr Slevin, consultant in Limerick who was involved with Afnan's delivery. so, he knew my situation. he said the scan done today was perfect and normal. Normal viable single fetus with normal liquor. the length and what not seem all fine. as i am still early in my pregnancy, i am advised to come back for another appointment in 4 weeks time, when i am 12 weeks gestation. i will also need regular scan in the future.

I am soo relieved after today. Although i expected my baby to be a bit older, but as long as he/she is fine, i am more than satisfied. i long for a healthy baby, a baby that i can cuddle with, a baby that i can give all my love and care. i want my baby soo much...

anyway, everything finished around 3.40pm. kesian hubby,he had to accompany me all the way from the beginnning till the end though he had audit to do for the next day's presentation. Alhamdulillah...a long day, but a very satisfying day for me knowing that my baby is doing fine and growing. bie..stay in mum's tummy forever k. dont come out before the time....

i love my baby soo much...=) and i love the father of my baby too...;)

Usrah

Alhamdulillah...hari ini bermula study leave hubby utk 2 minggu. begitu lega rasanya melihat dia gembira, bermain game bola kegemaran sepanjang malam, dan bermalas-malasan di pagi hari tanpa perlu bersiap bergegas ke tempat kerja. Aku yg gembira melihat dia gembira. 2-3 hari lepas, terasa diri kesunyian sementelah hubby terpaksa oncall overnight diikuti oncall the next day sampai pukul 10 malam. kesunyian di rumah tanpa dia...hai, bagaimana lah diriku nanti bila di Galway,jauh dari hubby.sedangkan ditinggalkan semalaman sudah kesunyian, apatah berada berjauhan selama enam bulan??mampukah aku??sendiri tertanya...

hari ini, tidak banyak kami lakukan pada siang harinya. banyak bermalas-malasan di couch melihat hubby bermain bola, sambil menonton tv di selingannya...

malamnya pula, aku bersama hubby, turut bersama Mas Mahady yg turun dr Limerick ke rumah Apek & Azraa utk Usrah.Alhamdulillah, berjumpa junior yg kebanyakannya x kukenali sebelum ini. juga mendengar usrah pasal sifat2 Allah iaitu
-mukhalafatuhu linafsihi
-wahdaniah
diikuti oleh tafsiran ayat Albaqarah 124 berkenaan 'kalimaat' yg ditafsirkan para ulama' sebagai syariat2 yg ditaklifkan Allah kepada Nabi Ibrahim. juga mengambil iktibar dari pengorbanan Nabi Ibrahim melakukan perintah Allah tanpa sebarang dolak dalih.
selepas itu, ada tazkirah ringkas berkaitan ILMU. tajuk yg simple, tapi berjaya membawa kesan yg mendalam, membuatkan aku berfikir sebetulnya...tanpa Ilmu kita manusia hanya menurut.contoh solat sendiri, apakah kite tahu hujah2 di setiap prgerakan sembahnyang kita. aku akui aku hanya jadi penurut tanpa sebarang rasa utk bertanya...
satu point yg betul aku ingat, di kala akhir zaman ini, ramai ulama' tanpa ilmu membuat fatwa. semacam betul kalau dilihat apa yg terjadi di zaman ini....

selepas usrah, kami dijamu makan nasi lemak. Alhamdulillah,kenyang betul merasa nasi lemak setelah sekian lama x makan...
selepas beramah mesra dengan adik2, kami pulang selepas menghantar junior ke rumah masing2. Mas bermalam di rumah kami. sukalah hubby, punya kawan utk bermain. kalau tidak, tampak bosan tanpa teman bermain bola di xbox 360. aku???hehe...tak suka..x minat...and sakit tangan guna controller...aku lebih banyak jd pemerhati dari meng involve kan diri...

~coretan bosan di kala hubby seronok main game dgn Mas ;) ~

dating scan..

semalam, dapat letter from CUMH utk dtg for appointment for dating scan on 17th December dekat Ultrasound Clinic dekat CUMH. okayla...boleh pegi,since hubby cuti for 2 weeks nanti utk study leave. so,hubby leh temankan. lagi pon, nak sgt die ade utk 1st scan ni..nak die tgk baby die...

peliknye, tadi, got a call, actually the first call went unanswered, only on the 2nd call baru jwb. nurse CUMH call. suh dtg utk appointment for High Risk Clinic this Monday at 9am. diorg akan amek full history,examination, and dating scan sekali. em...i have no problem with attending it,but what about the 17th Dec Appointment?takkan 2 kali scan in the same week kot.

anyway, i think i am going to ask them about this on this coming Monday, whether should i or should i not going for the appointment on the 17th which is only 3 days apart after the 1st appointment.

according to kak syu, when u are becoming a patient in High Risk Clinic, u will be expecting to attend lots of scans. so, is this one of the examples?2 scans in a week?cam x masuk akal plak. ape lah sgt beza pembesaran baby kalau 3 hari?

right now, i am still clueless on the age of my baby, how many weeks is she/he?according to my LMP, he/she would be around 11++ weeks. but learning from my past experience, i know, that this baby would be younger than that. with my irregular periods, it's hard to tell the gestational age without ultrasound scan.

anyway, i knew from a friend about the difficulties my other friends faced to conceive. one of them even went for IVF but unsuccessful. alhamdulillah, i am truly grateful for what God has blessed me with. even with my irregular periods, which in a way means difficulty to timing the best time to conceive, I am really grateful for I have conceived naturally for 2 times. one with afnan, and the second one is now in my tummy...sgt2 bersyukur ya Allah..

Aku berdoa ya Allah moga Kau permudahkan segala urusan kawan-kawanku itu,Ya Allah...

semoga membesar dan mendapat zuriat ini bisa dikongsi bersama oleh semua perempuan di luar sana. teruskan usaha wahai teman. jgn mudah berputus asa. semoga usaha kalian diberi kejayaan oleh Allah swt.

sesungguhnya tempias merasakan kesusahan utk conceive pernah aku rasai. selalu merengek di dada hubby,meminta dikurniakn zuriat utk ditatang,dibelai,dimanja...
Alhamdulillah,dikurniakan Allah rezeki buat kali kedua..Aku berjanji ya Allah,dengan perkenanMu, aku kujaga amanahMu agar tidak sia2. terima kasih ya Allah x terhinngga atas KurniaanMu...

aku sungguh bersyukur...

baby...

entahla...pembawakan baby, or aku sendiri...

recently,
1. terasa sgt malas nak buat apa2.
2. malas nak masak. nak makan je.
3. asal awal pagi, and before tido, mesti rasa nausea and nak muntah. macam something stuck in the throat
4. stress incontinence.
5. getting tired very easily..

masa Afnan dulu, tak plak cam ni. xtahu kenapa...

Hari Raya Aidil Adha..tahun ini dan tahun lepas...

Sambutan raya Eidul Adha, tahun 2007 vs 2008

tahun lepas, aku sambut hari raya bersama abah dan adin sahaja di rumah kami di Dooradoyle Park, Limerick. plan asal utk ke rumah Ajis K Ani membawa abah utk merasa beraya di sini terpaksa dibatalkan kerana mereka sekeluarga ke Cork menyambut hari raya di sana. ada jemputan makan2 rumah K. Agee seingat aku pada mase tu, tapi aku memang langsung x berminat utk bersosiall dgn org slps apa yg berlaku 27/11 sebelumnya. sedih masih menyengat hati. terasa seolah2 kejadian malang berulang2 di depan mata. x ingin berjumpa sapa2, lagi2 mendengar kata2 nasihat yg hanya membuang masa diorg. aku perlu masa aku sendiri, sedih aku bukan hilang dgn kata2 perangsang org, sedih aku malah bertambah bile mendengar nasihat diorg. Aku perlu masa...hanya masa mampu merawat luka ku...

satu hari kami di rumah menunggu Adin balik kerja. aku dgn diriku, kesian abah yg kebosanan. mungkin tidak menyangkakan hari raya sebgini rupa di Ireland. malam, selepas Adin pulang, kami bawa abah ke Poppadum(kedai makan halal di Limerick), merasa makan di luar di hari raya. hari yg sepatutnya abah merasa gembira, bertukar sedih sebab aku. jadi kami bawa abah makan luar utk menggembirakan hati abah. kesian abah jadi mangsa keadaan. tapi aku bersyukur sbb abah ada di kala aku keseorangan bile adin keluar bekerja. sedih aku berkurang cukup dgn hanya bercakap2 dgn abah. abah menasihati dgn cara tersendiri. cara tersirat. aku ingat lagi, beberapa hari selepas aku kehilangan Afnan, mama masih ade lagi di ireland ketika itu,...abah datang dekat, dan suruh aku bace tafsiran do'a tahlil utk kematian anak kecil lelaki.abah suruh aku membezakan doa tahlil utk org dewasa lelaki.

bezanya, kalau kalian perhatikan, doa tahlil utk org dewasa lelaki ialah bilamana kita mendoakan semoga Allah mengampunkan segala dosa2 si anu tersebut, semoga ditempatkan di kalangan para salihin. tetapi, doa tahlil utk kanak2 adalah mendoakan semoga keluarga si anak kecil tabah dan pasrah di atas kehendak Dugaan Allah, sebab kanak2 kecil tidak ada secalit dosa pada mereka, mereka suci. terlalu suci...
kita yg banyak dosa..

Tahun ini, aku dah ingat mesti raya tahun ni sama macam tahun lepas. iyelah, suamiku bekerja di hari Isnin ini, mane dapat cuti. aku plak, mesti dok umah je sepanjang hari until hubby balik, baru gi open house.

but then, things turned out differently. the night before the raya, i got a call from kak syuhada wife to Dr Nazri. she invited me over to her house tomorrow. and she will also fetch me up tomorrow from my house. Alhamdulillah...

pagi esoknya, selepas hubby pegi kije, aku bersiap sselepas mandi sunat hari raya. dalam pukul 10am, kak syu amek aku kat depan A & E mercy hospital. hujan turun renyai2 waktu tu. Alhamdulillah, sibbaik renyai2 je, since i did not bring my umbrella with me

a few minutes in car on the way to kak farah&nurul's house, hujan turun mencurah2. lebat jugakla hujannya. sibbaik time aku kuar rumah, x lebat sgt.
bile sampai umah kak farah, aku jumpe k.dah (pembantu k.farah) and hala alawi, kak farah and kak syu's friend which originally from Dubai but staying here for his husband yg kije as Neurosurgeon reg.aku makan2 kat situ. mkn pulut kuning +rendang+ nasi himpit+kuah kacang. 1st round makan2. Alhamdulillah...

then, dok lepak2 kejap, aku bertolak ke umah kak syu kat ballincolig. kat situ, kami sambung makan2. kak syu masak nasi tomato+ayam msk merah+rendang daging. best!kenyang. 2nd round makan2.
after solat zuhur,solat asar, and borak2 in between, kami bertolak ke umah syidi. jumpe Mas, GG, kak ida and the kids, Kak Ee&ariri, and juniors yg baru abeh exam patho diorg. borak2 kejap, then sambung makan for the 3rd time. kali ni makan satay ayam+nasi himpit+kuah kacang. huhu...kenyang.

lepak2 sekejap before kak syu ajak balik. at first, plan nak balik umah terus, but since jalan pon jammed and hubby pon x abeh kije lagi, aku pegi umah kak syu. sambil tunggu hubby, aku borak2 ngan kak syu.

hubby dtg around 6 pm. sambil tunggu Dr Nazri aka chip balik, hubby makan2 dulu. aku dah terlampau kenyang sgt. huhu...xleh nak sumbat. dah 3 round ma...kenyang sgt.
since dh janji ngan shikin, lps bertolak dr umah kak syu, aku terus ke wilton amek shikin n roque utk bersama2 ke umah k.ida.

2nd time sampai umah kak ida. kali ni, lagi ramai org kat sana. juniors pon ramai. syikin and the gang plak baru sampai from limerick.k.shazz pon ade. so, borak2 lagi. sambil borak, aku gi amek kuah lodeh+nasi himpit (4th round).huhu...

by the time anta shikin+roque balik umah, and kak naning balik B&B, aku dh kekenyangan.huhu...mahu nya x...makan byk giler...
makan2 sampai lupe nak amek gambar. huhu...

anyway, thanks to kak syu for yesterday. it wont be that eventful kalau kak syu x ajak beraya sekali.heheh...best2...raya terkahir di cork. i will always remember that. insyaAllah...

p/s to baby: baby kenyang makan smlm???hehe...ibu pon kenyang. baby stay strong ok. ibu syg. jgn kuar awal tau. ibu nak jumpe baby bulan 7 nanti, insyaAllah..

Gambar gambar yg sempat snap di hari raya...

k.dah(maid kak farah) and the kids

the kids

me, kak farah, kak syu, and hala

Pregnancy after a Miscarriage

article obtained from babycenter.co.uk

How to keep a positive attitude when you're pregnant again

The test is positive - but if you have previously lost a pregnancy to miscarriage (one in five pregnancies ends this way), stillbirth, or some other problem, your excitement about this pregnancy may be tinged with fear. A new chance is what you've hoped for, but you can't help wondering: Will things work out this time? There's no easy way to get over all your fears, but you can do things to feel better in the days ahead.


I had a miscarriage last year and I'm pregnant again. Why don't I feel happy about it?

Although you've achieved your goal of conceiving again, it may be a while before you can enjoy this pregnancy. It's normal for a woman who has had a miscarriage to be anxious that she might lose this baby, too. It may be particularly stressful up to the stage when the pregnancy was lost the last time. Some experts suggest not glossing over the anniversaries of a pregnancy loss, but rather recognising them and trying to accept it. You will probably feel more sad and anxious as the date approaches, and that's normal. Don't be hard on yourself for not feeling happy all the time. Allow yourself to feel your feelings; a good cry now and then will relieve a lot of tension.



Should we wait to tell friends and family we're pregnant? It was hard on everyone when we lost the baby last time.

This is a personal issue, and you should do what you feel comfortable with. Many people wait until they've passed the point of their last miscarriage to share their news, but it's not always best to keep the pregnancy private. "Think of your family and friends as part of your support system," says one expert. "If you don't tell them, you may not get the support you need."



I'm pregnant, but all I can think about is what happened last time. How can I calm down?

Try to remember that this experience is different. It's important to reflect on what might have been, but also to look forward to the future baby. Some women feel they can't really believe in the new pregnancy -- but once they pass the point of the previous loss, they start to feel more positive.

Chances are you'll feel anxious much of the time. But as you reach each milestone, such as hearing the heartbeat or feeling fetal movements, you'll be reassured that things are progressing well. Here are some things you can do to stay positive:

• Take it one day at a time. Easier said than done, but it really works. When you feel yourself worrying about the future, stop and think only about today.

• Find out what happened. If a past loss was diagnosed as a blighted ovum or caused by cervical weakness, for example, read as much as you can about those conditions. You may feel more in control of your situation if you understand what happened before. Unfortunately, many miscarriages and stillbirths don't have explanations. But the good news is that a past miscarriage, or even two, makes you only slightly more likely to have another one in the future. The vast majority of women who have lost a baby go on to have completely normal, healthy pregnancies.

• Try some relaxation exercises. Some experts also suggest that talking to the baby can aid the bonding process.

• Share your worries with your partner. Don't feel like you have to work through these feelings alone. Your partner suffered a loss, too. You can support each other.

• Talk to your doctor or midwife often. Having regular antenatal checkups can reassure you that your baby is doing well. Ask to come in between appointments to listen to the heartbeat if it will make you feel better.

• Find support. The National Childbirth Trust (helpline 0870 444 8707) may be able to put you in touch with a group in your area where you can share your feelings, or another mother who's been through similar experiences. Talking to strangers may make you uncomfortable to begin with, but soon the group members will become trusted friends who truly understand your feelings. You may also get a lot of support by posting on our Parents after miscarriage forum. You'll find others who've been through it too. You can also contact the www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk
Miscarriage Association (call 01924 200799) who offer support on all aspects of pregnancy loss.

GP visit...

hari ni, sebaik hubby pulang dari rumah, terus saya mengajak hubby utk membuat appointment utk berjumpa GP. hampir 2 minggu tahu diri mengandung, baru terasa utk pegi berjumpa GP.

GP bagitahu EDD saya dlm June 2009. based on my previous pregnancy, this one will be considered as high risk one, which means i might have the scan at earlier date. and according to Dr slevin, the obstetrician in St Munchins Hospital, the hospital where i delivered Afnan, it would be advised for me to go for Induction of Labour (IOL) at 39 weeks for the subsequent pregnancy after my first one.

anyhow, the GP told me that i am 10 weeks pregnant now based on the calculation (but i think it is less than that since i have an irregular cycle, and never 'normal 28 days')

so, it would be this one if she is correct.

call on Allah in the Good times

From the Qur'an:
39:8 When some trouble touches man, he cries to his Lord,
turning to Him in repentance: but when He bestows a favour
upon him as from Himself, (man) forgets what he cried and
prayed for before, and sets up partners to Allah, thus
misleading others from Allah's Path. Say, "Enjoy your blasphemy
for a little while: verily you are (one) of the Companions of
the Fire!" 39:8

[Lessons from this verse]
We normally reserve turning in
repentance to when troubled times come upon us. No, we are
equally commanded to turn in repentance when the mercy of
Allah is showered upon us, because that is the time so many
people attribute that mercy to other than Allah.

~Oh Allah, i am soo thankful for what u have given me. I thank You for everything.
You have blessed me with a wonderful marriage, an understanding husband, a lovely family and in laws, many many good friends, and an ease in life. Though i lost a baby, but i thank You Allah for giving me another one.
Thank You ALLAH for everything~

Morning sickness..

sebetulnya, bukan 'morning' sickness as it can happen anytime.

mula2 tahu yg saya pregnant 22/11 dulu, agak cuak kerana belum ada sign or symptom apa2 yg menunjukkan saya pregnant. bertanya pada hubby seolah tidak percaya, 'betulkah saya pregnant?'. hubby lihat mata saya dan cuba menyakinkan saya yg saya betul2 pregnant. tapi kenapa saya tidak muntah2 lagi?
berlainan dgn baby 1st, dulu sy tahu sy pregnant sbb symptom sy bermula dgn muntah2. bila test, terus tahu positive. tapi yg kedua ini,sy test positive walaupun blo ade sign. saya risau takut2 kandungan ini bermasalah. harap2 dijauhkan...

tak lama lepas saya tahu, minggu ini symptom nausea vomiting saya bermula. makan apa sahaja rasa x selera. x sedap di tekak. terasa ada yg kena. ada yg lekat di oesaphagus yg perlu dikeluarkan kembali.

terasa sangat x selesa. sy hanya suke minum susu dan yogurt skrg. itupon, terasa susah betul utk jatuh ke stomach. seolah2 peristalsis x berlaku.semua stuck di leher.
x selesanya!

tapi sy bersyukur, sekurang2nya, ini bukti pregnancy sy normal, tidak bermasalah. harap2 placenta baby kuat melekat ke endometrium dan mencurahkan HcG. jd tidakla perlu sy risau.

alamak...sy rasa nausea lagi...nanti lainkali sy sambung lagi...

*updated*
right after finishing the whole 6 small bottles of yogurt semalam, terus muntah. perut rasa x sedap since the morning after eating mee maggi tomyam. now i know, my body cant take any maggi. otherwise, the taste of it stays in my mouth whole day and stimulate my vomiting. serious.
oh...i'm so hungry after threw out yesterday. so, i ordered indian moon meal for 2 dishes. apparently, i can take it well without any feeling of nausea etc. maybe perut ni lagi suke nasik kot dari mee...
and plus, i only drank coca-cola yesterday. its kinda help me with my muntah2. unlike plain h20, kalau minum je, terus muntah.huhu...
baby ni suke minum air gas ye??x baikla baby. ade high content of sugar la sayang...hehe

tetamu...

semalam, sepetang kami kat rumah aje. hubby pon penat drive jauh2 semalam,lagi plak, tak tido semalaman, membuatkan die sangat penat. aku plak dera hubby x boleh tidur until dh puas main game.hehe ;p.sian die. tapi akhirnya, terlentok jugak die kat sofa.aku kesian tgk die, so,terus suh dia baring aje kat atas sofa tu.
dera die main game bukan ape,biar dia main sampai puas. bile puas, bolehla study plak lepas ni. risau jugak, dahla hubby akan amek exam MRCP january ni. kalau main2, rugi...

petang tu, kak yuli, karim, syakira dan farhan datang. meriah rasenye rumah ada kanak2 ini. kami sibuk main dgn Farhan (sebenarnya, teringat dekat Afnan. Farhan dan Afnan sebaya, cuma tua Farhan 2-3 minggu rasanya). rasanya, rumah kami memang bukan child-friendly, semua barang kene angkut ke atas bile ada kanak2. iyelah, rumah kami penuh dgn bits and pieces yg budak2 akan senang2 je masukkan dalam mulut diorang.

afnan afnan...kalaula afnan ada sekarang. mesti boleh main2 sama farhan...

harap2 baby dalam kandungan ni selamat sampai dilahirkan. aku berharap sangat2. baby jaga diri elok2 ye. jgn ganas2 dlm perut ibu. hehe... ibu nak tgk sampai baby dilahirkan. jgn kecewakan harapan ibu ya sayang!nanti bila baby besar, ibu akan ceritakan psl abang afnan, anak ibu no 1.
harap2 semua dalam perlindungan Allah...insyaAllah...