day 17 - GP 2 week's check up

hari ni, bangun tidur aje,terus bersiap nak pegi GP. rasa penat,sbb haikal semalaman asyik nak menyusu.bila susu terlepas dr mulut,mulalah mencari dan menangis.tapi bile kita susukan,cepat aje terlelap budak kecik tu. penatla kita. kene menyusu aja.alhamdlillah,smlm x guna top up formula.

tp pg td guna.hehe...x larat nak menyusu.

appointment ngan GP pukul 11.45am.tp smp pukul 12 tghhari sbb kene cari parking. hubby parking dkt ngan subway dkt bus station sbb susah nak cari car park kat bandar.

bile smp GP, x lama tunggu,terus jenny,the midwife panggil masuk bilik. die ucap congrats. then, ty details psl nama baby etc. bile timbang,haikal dh naik 70 gram compared to last measurement which was done 2 days ago to 3630 g. alhamdulillah...

kesian kat haikal.tumbuh bintik2 merah kat mata especially sekitar mata kanan.nampak mcm bengkak sedikit.tiba2 je tumbuh serentak dgn amat byk.huhu...dh x licin kulit anak ibu.bile ty kat jenny,die kata,tu milk spots, dan agak dissapear pon nanti.

then aileen dtg check baby. check hips etc. tanya paeds check x baby aritu.ty ade family hx of hips dislocation ke x dlm family which the answer was no.

alhamdulillah..haikal pon behaved je.cume x byk bwk bekal susu die. on the way back,singgah adam kids kejap shopping baju girls utk bwk balik msia, mana tahu kot2 bleh bg hadiah kat kwn2 yg ada baby nanti.

on the way back,smpt beli sandwich subway sekejap sblm bertolak ke Smyth toys. hehe..menyusu baby kat dlm kereta sbb haikal dah got cranky dlm carseat die sbb lapar. hubby masuk smyth cari games. then, with haikal,we all get into smyth and bought haikal his changing mat and his super seat.

balik rumah,haikal dah lapar2 lagi.mennagis x ingat dlm kereta on the way home.last2,smp je kat umah, terus susukan die smp tertidur. letih x ingat..hehe...haikal haikal...
anak ibu ni garang betul kalau lapar..hehe..

day 16

ahmad haikal behaved very good today.
lps minum susu,tgk2 ibu dan ayah. x mcm selalu,bile kenyang,terus tidur. skrg,adelah ms kami berbual2 dgn ahmad haikal...die tgk je muka ayah dan ibu.seronot!
tapi skrg, haikal asyik possetting je. selps minum, kami akan burp kan die.tapi, mesti ade jugok jeluak yg keluar.kdg2 keluar ikut hidung sekali.risau.tersedak2 sampai. ayah haikal kate,haikal penah tgh2 tdur,terjaga dan keluar muntah yg byk. mcm regurgitation je gayanya...ayah haikal sellau exaggerate ok ! ;p

anyway,haikal is growing bigger day by day...and growing tanner...hehe...makin itam anak ayah ibu ni.

ayah ibu cume risau skrg ni,haikal dah tumbuh bintik2 merah yg byk kat muka,especially around both eyes...risau ok...napelah tba2 byk bintik2 nih...

day 15

harini Sarah PHN dtg dlm pukul 3.30pm utk check weight haikal...
taktahu nape,hari ni haikal nampak gelap.even sarah pon cakap haikal dh bukan paddy, dah ade colour. anyway, haikal makes us smile today. haikal gains 500 gram weight today! dr 3060 gram last monday to 3560 weight today. sgt bangga hokeh! hehe...PHN pon sgt puas hati dgn haikal...

next appointment utk haikal is in a month, on 21 st august in grattan street. yeay...x saba nak tahu weight haikal in a month's time..sure naik berganda2...best2..

day 14

haikal is already 2 weeks young! cepatnya ms berlalu..x sangka....
dah 2 minggu anak ibu nih...
rasa mcm baru hari tu balik dr hospital..
anyway, PHN sarah x dtg rumah hari ni. sepatutnya temujanji kami pukul 11.30am die dtg rumah, tp td kami tertidur ms die call..last2 die call balik kate die busy nak tgk org lain hari ni, and will call again tomorow evening nak tgk haikal.
plus, td dh ring GP utk appointment for 2 weeks' check up for haikal.dh set date hari khamis nih pukul 11.45am. harap2 x lupa...
hari ni weather mendung je. nak kuar rumah,tp mls nak bersiap..huhu..

day 13

kak ee ariri, isa wafiq,dan imran wazif dtg lawat haikal arini.
then,syikin,ila,izyan,dan haizum dtg rumah..
pukul 3.30pm,kami kuar rumah pegi umah gya hakim celebrate birthday hannah yg kedua (sepatutnya 24/6)
jumpe ramai org...feeza pawie,faies bahij alia, fahd, kuchai,k.liza nik etc...seronot!

day 12

anak ibu sgt bagus hari ni.lps minum susu,anak ibu tgk ayah dan ibu..tenung...seolah2 baru berkenalan gayanya. ayah suka sgt bile haikal x terus tido mcm biase lps menyusu. comella haikal ni...

hari ni,ade tetamu melawat haikal.
ustaz azhar+k.riza+mak ayah k.riza
azraa+hafis+abang nufail..

seronot...

day 9

haikal went for first outing with ayah and ibu today to Oriental shop, Lidl, and to Fitzgerald Park. spent 3 hours under the sun. happy!

Ahmad Haikal bin Muhammad Saifuddin

alhamdulillah...syukur rasanya apabila semua berjalan lancar. rasa gembira sgt2 bile mampu mendukung, menyusu dan membuai anak sendiri...alhamdulillah...syukur sgt2..

dah 8 hari umur Haikal, baru hari ini terasa nak menulis pasal delivery haikal hari tu. masih penat+melayan haikal yg nak menyusu setiap 2 jam. tapi berbaloi rasanya segala penat lelah selama ni bila melihat haikal di depan mata. rasa bersyukur sbb haikal sihat dan sempurna, dan gembira sgt2 sbb tercapai hajat nak lihat haikal lahir di bumi Ireland.

hari IOL hari tu yg bertarikh 12/7/09 bersamaan dgn hari ahad. kami 2-2 bgn lambat pd hari tersebut. pukul 10am br bgn. plus, malam sebelumnya agak tidur lambat siapkan final preparation brg2 utk dibawa ke hospital. sebelum ke hospital,hubby disuruh utk makan nasi sebagai bekal tenaga kerana dia bakal menemani spjg sy di hospital. kali ni,berjanji yg kami x mahu berjauhan,takut2 kalau sesuatu yg buruk berlaku,tapi dia tiada di sisi. dah pesan awal2 yg die kene teman walau ape terjadi.die kene jadi pembuat keputusan kalau2 apa2 terjadi pada kami yg memerlukan suami membuatkan keputusan segera.

pukul 12.30pm, kami sampai ke hospital CUMH.hubby tinggalkan di entrance hosp utk sy daftar diri sambil2 dia memarkirkan kereta di The Chimes. kami menunggu hampir sejam sebelum dipanggil dan dibawa terus ke Induction Room di Ground Floor CUMH. sempat juga la kami membeli buku psl pregnancy di kedai buku di ground floor CUMH tu. dalam pukul 1 lebih,kami tiba di Induction Room.nampaknya kami org pertama utk di induce ari tu. bilik induction room kosong. kami mengisi katil pertama...

dalam pukul 3.30pm, kami menerima 1st prostin. lambat sbb menunggu doktor dtg utk prescribe prostin sblm nurse dpt bagi prostin tu pd kami. basically, prostin=prostagladin tu adalah dlm bentuk gel yg diletakkan di bahagian cervix sms vaginal examination utk mematangkan cervix dan memudahkan pembukaancervix disamping membantu meransang kontraksi.

slps dpt 1st prostin, baby's heartbeat di monitor di CTG slama lebih kurang sejam. sambil2 itu, since xde ape2 kesan, hubby pegi solat di prayer room di sebelah induction room. slps CTG stop, aku plak pegi amek wudhu' dan solat sebelah katil.alhamdulillah, bila x ramai org dlm induction room tu,sng bagi aku utk menunaikan kewajipan..

kami bosan..lalu,dlm pukul 6 lebih,kami jalan2 di CUMH, pergi ke coffee shop sambil makan2 panini+sanwich sambil borak2 dgn hubby.gayanya, kami bukan pesakit.hehe.x sakit langsung pon lagi. boleh berjalan ke sana ke mari walaupun dh dapat 1st prostin. smpt juga menjengah ke kedai souvenir di ground floor tu utk tunjuk pd hubby teddy bear 'born in cork' yg aku mahu hubby belikan utk baby kalau semua berjalan lancar..

selepas itu, kami kembali ke Induction room.kali ini,induction room sudah penuh dgn org2 baru yg akan di induce pd hari yg sama. drpd percakapan mereka, kebanyakan yg baru dtg adalah mothers yg overdue, bukan macam aku yg kire high risk patient.

malam itu,aku menerima 2nd dose of prostin dlm pukul 9.30 mlm. sblm dan selepas prostin diberi,baby's heartbeat dimonitor by CTG. alhamdulillah..CTG was always good. baby;s heartbeat was ok all the time.ade mase baby tidur, jd terpaksa nurse bagi air batu utk stimulate baby utk terus berjaga..

malamnya, tanpa rasa sakit,aku terpaksa melepaskan hubby pulang pukul 11 malam kerana suami/partner x dibenarkan menemani isteri sepanjang mlm di induction room tersebut.kalau ada apa2, mereka akan menghubungi suami jika si isteri dh dlm labour condition.dgn berat hati,kubiarkan hubby pergi walaupun dlm hati, nak sgt hubby di sisi. takut apa2 terjadi mlm tersebut. huhu..

malam tu, aku tidur agak x lena.iyelah,tempat asing.plak tu, x ngantuk lagi.dlm pukul 12midnight tu,nurse dh suh tutup lampu.aku plak seronok lagi nak baca magazine (maklumla x sakit ;p). hehe...dlm pukul 1 am mcm tu, dh start ade mild crampy pain, tp xdelah sakit sgt pon.nurse kata kalau sakit sgt,bagitahu die nanti die bagi pethidine. tapi aku rase x sakit pon. and aku mampu tanggung sakit tu,thus x bagitahu nurse pon though nurse dtg check beberapa kali throughout the night. malam tu jugak,aku tido x lena, iyelah..mule2 org sblh aku start2 sakit...and lps dlm 1-2 jam sakit,nurse hantar ke labour ward. lps die pegi, org opposite cubicle aku plak start2 sakit2...x lama, nurse hantar ke labour ward. yg susahnya,aku xleh tido,sbb dgr diorg sakit2,and tensen sbb aku x sakit2 lagi.padahal mereka dpt 2 prostin same ngan aku,tp diorg dh masuk labour,aku x lagi.huhu...

paginya, dlm pukul 8am, hubby sampai.die ty ape jd mlm td.aku pon citer psl org dpn and sblh yg dh masuk labor. x lama, ade org baru dtg isi katil2 kosong dlm induction room tu.cuma aku je yg x berganjak sbb x sakit2 lagi..

then, dlm pukul 9am macam tu, kak ee dtg buat ARM, pecahkan air ketuban. masa kak ee wat VE, sakit jugakla...tapi bile air ketuban dh pch, x sakit ape2 pun.cume rasa katil tu soaking wet. bape kali nurse kene tukar mat sbb basah. rasa macam gushing of water kuar ikut vagina. kak ee kate,stay atas katil for one hour after ARM utk nurse monitor baby's heart rate,then,lps tu jalan2 mobilise utk suruh baby engage cepat. alhamdulillah,ms tu CTG semua ok.xde mslh.lps sejam,nurse dtg disconnect CTG and ty aku kalau2 nak jalan2 dulu kat luar. aku ty die balik, 'macam mana?i feel gushing of water coming out all the time'. then, die dtg bwk disposable panty and maternity pad. bagi aku suh aku jalan2..

aku ajak hubby jalan2 along the corridor depan induction room. sempat la bace article research and case study yg di display dekat corridor tuh. x lama kami jalan2...ade la 2 trip pegi balik. sbb x selesa bila amniotic fluid asyik memancut2 kelaur...and abes basah2 kain and celah kangkang...jalan pon slow2 bukan sbb sakit, tapi takut ter tumpah amniotic fluid aatas lantai corridor tu..hehe..

then, patah balik ke induction room. dlm pukul 11 am, kak ee dtg. saje jenguk bagitahu yg die dh suh nurse start bago oxytocin. kalau x, nurse xnak bagi lagi sbb nak bagi laluan pd private patient yg ade kat induction room tu.tp kak ee slow talk ngan nurse tu bagitahu aku dok kat induction room dr the day before lagi. dah lama..

then, dlm pukul 1pm, diorg start oxytcin. mula2 x sakit sgt lagi..siap main sudoku ngan hubby.tp lama2 makin sakit.hubby baca doa dan sapukan air selusuh atas perut sambil baca selawat, doa bismillah 6 dan doa nabi yunus.dlm pukul 2 lebih,dh x tahan.suh hubby bagitahu nurse yg sy sakit sgt.nurse dtg bagi pethidine injection. sekejap je tahan...buat rs mengantuk jugakla pethidine tu. tp lps tu, contraction makin kuat.sgt sakit.lagi sakit dr normal contraction. tak lama lps tu, nurse dtg ty nak epidural ke x. terus angguk.sblm tu,die buat VE, baru 1 cm opening.then, x lama kemudian,diorg hantar by wheelchair ke labour ward utk set up epidural and utk get ready for labour.

sakit jugakla tanpa epidural.bile anest dtg bagi epidural,alhamdulillah..terus lega yg amat. siap2 tertidur2 lagi sambil diorg monitor baby's heart rate by CTG.baby CTG was ok...dlm pukul 3 pm, cevix was 1cm. pukul 4pm, 2-3cm.pukul 6pm, 3-4 pm. pukul 8pm, dr coulter dtg and buat VE, it was 3cm.though he said 3 cm for my opening is considered as 'generous'. nurse sblm ni kate, 3-4cm kalau stretched lebih sket...so, in the end, it was decided that i only reached 3 cm after soo many hours...

ms tu dr coulter dtg ngan CNM 3. diorg bincang2.kitorg xtahu ape yg dibincang until diorg bagitahu yg CTG baby showed early deceleration walaupun ade gap with normal CTG.tapi early decel agak frequent jugak. sblm tu, dr donal brennan dtg and check CTG and buat VE. die assured us yg our CTG was ok after some early decel. tapi bile dr coulter dtg check, terasa pelik la plak.sure sthg wrong ni.then...die ty psl stillbirth sebelm nih.ape yg jadi.hubby and I tried to explain the situation. bile die tahu psl hx kami sblm ni, and kes kami yg failure to progress, plus CTG yg show early deceleration, die kate, die suggest Caesarean section...sbb walaupun early deceleration may be a sign of nothing, it can be a sign of baby's hypoxia...so, die try nak avoid la kalau itu yg akan terjadi walaupun masa tu CTG was ok...plus, die kata, i was in labour for such a long time, die takut bagi oxytocin lebih2 takut uterus hyperstimulation which will also not good for baby. 3 cm dr pagi...

bile Dr John Coulter,consultant sendiri yg decide for c-sect, kami terus setuju.lagi plak, based on previous hx, taknak the same thing happen again for our 2nd baby..so, terus decide yes. x lama, dlm ms 15 minit after dr coulter decide for c-sect,aku di bagi sodium nitrate, signed consent (dr brennan yg dtg amek consent),anest bagi top up spinal block, and call rumah ckp nga che and mama(hubby yg ckp) sbb ms tu dh kelam kabut sbb diorg dh tolak trolley ke dlm OT. mmg x smpat nak bersedih2 bersalam2an ngan hubby. seriously cepat..within 15 minutes. mase tu baru nak grasp the idea kene belah, tp diorg dh tolak masuk OT.giler laju..huhu...

ms masuk OT,dh risau sbb hubby kat luar x masuk OT.lps tu, nurse convinced yg diorg nak get me ready for c-sect first, then bile semua ready baru hubby bleh masuk OT.x lama, lps anest said hi introduce himself etc, terus diorg prepped for c-sect.mmg laju sgt.diorg ltk cover dpn my face. xleh tgk..hubby pon dibagi seat duduk atas my kepala, xleh bangun pon nak tgk macammana diorg bedah..bile hubby try bangun,die suh duduk..huhu...

anyway, kejap je semua ni berlaku.sekelip mataje. masa diorg bedah tu, x terasa ape.cuma terasa mcm badan bergegar,bergerak2, mcm diorg buats esuatu,tp xtahu ape bende. rase mcm bdn ni construction site aje..ahaha..

15 minn je semua ni berlaku...cepat betul...x lama lps tu,diorg cakap 'congratulation,u got a baby boy!' tapi,ms tu x dgr pon suara baby walaupun dh tahu diorg dh angkat baby kuar.hati punyelah risau...takut2 baby mati.huhu..seriously..takut the same thing happened mcm afnan. huhu...lepas tu, x lama, dgr suara haikal menangis dgn sgt kuat...lega..Allah je yg tahu.terus menangis tgk hubby. menangis dan menangis...terharu...bersyukur...baby hidup dan selamat!seriously...menangis kesyukuran..hubby pegang my num fingers...tersenyum..tapi ms tu stil under effect anest lagi,takleh nak pgg tgn hubby,tp terus menangis tgk hubby...ya Allah, betul2 bersyukur pdMu ya Allah...

tak lama kemudian, diorg transfer ke recovery room. ms tu hubby dh bwk haikal kat tgn..gembira sgt tgk haikal. amazed sbb haikal putih suci...tiba2 dr perut, boleh pegang di tgn..Alhamdulillah...

Ahmad Haikal lahir pukul 9.23pm hari isnin, 13 julay 2009 bersamaan 20 rejab 1430H. Alhamdulillah...ayah kata ade discrepancy pd waktu sbb jam lahir haikal ialah pd 9.15pm (pd jam ayah) tapi diorg based on jam kat OT.

dr recovery room, diorg hantar kami ke bilik 20b 3 south. alhamdulillah...ibu dok sorang2 pd malam pertama ni. xde teman sblh katil ibu.baguslah..boleh ibu berehat bersama baby ibu yg tercinta ni...

day 8

hari ni umur haikal seminggu 1 hari.
bgn pg hari ni,haikal meragam. menangis aje. bile bagi susu,die lepaskan then cari balik. bile x jumpe/lambat masukkan puting dlm mulut die, terus menangis. tapi bile dpt,die lepaskan balik...
rupa2nya,haikal pooed dgn sgt banyaknya.sampai bocor2 nappy haikal. byk sgt.
ayah asyik isau takut haikal diarrhoea. tp haikal ok so far. feeding ok.alert.
td mandikan haikal.bile masuk dlm bath tub, haikal senyap.suka air kot. suam2 kuku mcm tu.
Uncle Ammar dtg rumah hari ni bawak hadiah baju NEXT dr die dan uncle Fairuz.thank u uncles. esok uncle Ammar dh nak balik for good.sure dh x jumpa dah.tp takpe, uncle ammar kat kelantan je nanti.insyaAlah, will meet up nanti kat qlate...
anyway,hari ni mintak ayah belikan haikal Aptamil Formula Milk utk haikal. ibu dh xtahan sakit nipple.berdarah2 da ni. berdenyut2 je rase. mula2 dulu, bile pumping,ibu rasa ok,x sakit.skrg, pumping pon sakit walaupun kurang sakit compared to when breastfeeding haikal.saje ibu suh ayah carikan formula,supaya breast ibu bleh rest sekejap utk healing process.kalau x, haikal nak minum every 2 hours.sakit betul breasts ibu...huhu...

day 7...

hari ni cukup umur haikal seminggu..terasa bahagia bila haikal ada...
plannye nak buat majlis tahniq kat haikal hari ni, tapi air zamzam pulak x ade.ayah haikal belikan kurma, tp tanpa air zamzam, mcm x sama..

hari ni,Sarah the public heatlh nurse dtg rumah utk check haikal. haikal healthy depsite mild jaundice that he suffered from. semua ok. berat haikal pon dah bertambah. ms lahir, berat haikal 3130 gram. hari ke 4, sblm discharge dr CUMH, berat haikal menurun ke 2920 gram. hari ni, berat haikal naik balik ke 3060 gram. alhamdulillah. berusaha betul ibu haikal menyusu badan walaupun sakit2 cracked nipple sampai berdarah2..alhamdulillah haikal sihat walafiat.yg plg risau bile haikal jaundice is ayah haikal. risau betul hubby.

anyway, haikal asyik berak je lately.hubby risau haikal diarrhoea. tp td ty PHN, she seemed satisfied with haikal's weight and general condition. die kate die akan visit next monday at 11.30am, nak tgk haikal nye jaundice progress mcmmana. harap2 by next week, jaundice ni dah hilang.

td haikal cakap ngan tok abah.gelak2 tok abah bile dgr haikal nangis. nenek pon ber webcam ngan haikal td. semua org excited nak tgk haikal...hehe...haikal haikal...syg betul kat haikal ni...

day 4

hari ni haikal balik rumah,yeay! dgn car seat baru haikal...
plus, ibu kene bukak clips caesarean section hari ni. sakit jugak.dpt prescription utk painkiller...
balik rumah, ayah yg sediakan semua..ayah mcm excited bwk haikal balik rumah..yeay...
haikal..welcome home!

day 3

haikal dilawat oleh
uncle mas and k.aini ngan sarah and aisyah...
haikal dpt hadiah..thank u!!!

day 6

~~~haikal~~~

haikal ada tetamu lagi hari ni.
aunty lin, uncle asyik, nuha and iman dtg jumpa haikal hari ni.
jauh2 diorg dtg dr Nenagh semata2 nak jumpe haikal.
haikal still jaundice arini. hari ke 2/3 haikal kuning.
ayah bagi susu kambing beberapa titik kat mulut haikal. ade petua kata bagus utk hilangkan jaundice. ayah siap jemurkan haikal kat panas matahari tadi smp muka haikal merah2 sbb panas.
kesian ibu. breast ibu still sakit. ayah belikan breast pump Avent utk ibu hari ni. ayah kesiankan ibu sakit2 bila susukan haikal...sian ibu.

day 5

~~~haikal~~~

hari ni betul2 busy bagi haikal. ramai betul tetamu jauh dan dekat datang nak jumpa haikal. haikal terharu.

mula2 aunty atie juki, and afiqah dan iqbal dtg. kemudian, uncle saufi dan aunty sara dtg. x lama kemudian, aunty su uncle nazri dtg dtg syakira dan syasya. penuh rumah haikal..

x lama kemudian, lps uncle sofi pulang, aunty zue uncle apek,dan darwisy dtg jumpa haikal..

lepas aunty zue pulang, aunty feeza pawie pia and syaireen dtg lawat haikal. uncle chota dan kwn2 pun ade. ramai betul. ayah penat dan kelam kabut layan semua org. sian ayah. tapi haikal hepi, sbb ramai dtg jumpe haikal dan berikan hadiah mcm2 utk haikal. haikal berterima kasih buat semua. thanks aunties and uncles..

haikal sgt ngantuk mlm tu.tp haikal nak tido bila ayah ibu dukung haikal aje. kalau x, haikal nangis. sian ibu ayah,penat. ayah lagilah,penat lps main indoor soccer mlm tu.lps pulang,ayah msk lauk utk ibu pulak.sian ayah.sakit lutut. haikal syg ayah. haikal syg ibu juga ;)

day 2

haikal ade tetamu hari ni...

fairuz+ammar
syidi+k.ida (haikal dpt hadiah baju ;) )
tima+amin+mish'al (dpt byk baju lagi, yeay!!)
feeza+pawie+fara+pia and syaireen

it's the day!!!

Alhamdulillah, today is the day.
insyaAllah, the admission for the IOL would be around 12 noon. all things have been prepared. baby and mother's stuff insyaAllah are all packed and ready to bring to hospital today.
carseat is ready @ home. all the documents for baby's registration are all placed in one corner on the book shelves so that it's easier for hubby to get when we need them.
my feeling??i cried just now. i dont know. this anxious feeling made me remember afnan more and more. how i prepared the hospital stuff's for him, how excited we were, how hopeful we were that everything turned out ok, but in the end, we brought a lifeless body of him back home. i dont want the same thing happen this time. God, no. please...have mercy on me. please, grant me a healthy baby...please,ya Allah...

lepak di rumah faies...

seronok lepak2 sambil makan2 di rumah faies smlm...ramai jugak yg dtg.
antaranya,
Mas,K.aini,sarah,dan aisyah
zue,apek dan darwisy
ammar
feeza,fara,pia dan syaireen
dan tuan rumah, faies,bahij dan alia. dan siti(new babysitter for alia)
agendanya, makan sambil berbual2.seronok bile lama x jumpa. byk cerite...:)

1 last day before tomorrow...

~~~ibu~~~

ibu quite worried today after not feeling regular movement from u,baby. ibu felt urself squirming randomly today, and ibu forgot to count ur movement.

just now, ibu asked ayah to provide ibu a cup of cold water with ice cubes. after drinking the water, and lying down, ibu started to feel ur movement. it was such a relief to feel u move again. dont make ibu worry again,ok?? ibu afraid of losing u. ibu dont want the same thing happened to abang afnan happened to u.

so,baby, be healthy for ibu.move regularly as well...kick ibu as always..u are always good at kicking and at making ibu want to pee always. so, keep on doing those,ok??so that ibu can sleep well at night not worrying about u. hehe...

2 days to go...

~~~baby~~~

baby, ibu misses u soo much!!!

yesterday, ibu bought changing mat for baby, and small2 stuff like nail clipper,scissors etc for you. we've been searching for sometime,but it was yesterday that we decided to buy it in TK Maxx when we were there.

and yesterday, ibu & ayah went for dinner in Ruen Thai for the last time before ur arrival. ayah kinda xnak wasted money, but ibu insisted. hehe...ibu nak celebrate the last time ibu has as a couple before u come. siap waiter tu ty ibu how old is my pregnancy??hehe...ibu ckp '9 months, and just waiting for the big day to come.'

truly, ibu actually excited waiting for ur arrival. ibu hopes everything goes fine this time. but back in my mind, ibu knows that anything can happen during that short period of labour. ibu has warned ayah to let the team knows that we wanted c-sect if u show any distress duirng labour. plus, ibu has confided to ayah my worry that u might not come out as 'healthy' as other baby, but ayah convinced me, 'dah anak saya, kita sama2 jaga'. insyaAllah, we will both love u deeply sayang.

baby...ibu misses u soo much!!

3 days to go...

~~~ibu~~~

3 hari lagi tinggal...ibu dan ayah nak sgt jumpa baby. hari ni kami tgk cd 'newborn, how to manage'...insyaAllah,ibu ayah dah prepare.ayah dh tgk video nak psg car seat baby semua. x sabar betul kami. yg penting, baby janji sihat2 tau...syg baby! :)

4 days to go...

~~~ibu~~~

makin lama makin dekat. tak sabar rasanya...
hari ni plan nak suruh ayah kemas nursery baby.tapi sblm tu, nak kene menyapu dust2 kat dalam bilik ibu&ayah. taknak baby sneezing plak menghidu debu2 kat bilik kami.

ibu syg anak ibu. nanti kita jumpa ya sayang...ibu nak kemas bilik biar anak ibu selesa nanti =)

jalan2

both of us woke up late today. hubby was exhausted from yesterday's house grooming.iyelah, camne x penat, pukul 12 tgh mlm, sibuk mengemas bilik sebelah. vacuum carpet, basuh pinggan etc. hehe..me?tgk saje..hepi sbb hubby rajin menolong.

tgh hari, hubby pegi hospital setelkan urusan yg x selesai.
then,bile hubby balik dr hospital, kami sama2 msk kari chicken wings. hubby membasuh pinggan,memotong ayam. me? memasak.ade org tolong made things easier for me. ;)

then, ptgnye, merancang nak keluar. ingatkan nakgi Lough, saje nak bagi makan roti pd swans and beras kat burung2 kat Lough. tapi on the way ke Lough, terasa nak kencing xleh tahan. terpaksa hubby singgah Wilton Shopping Centre sekejap for me to do my 'business'. masa keluar dr tandas, jumpe hubby tgh baca kat community board dpn toilet. hubby pon tunjukla kat keratan akhbar yg ditampal kat community board tu. dlm paper tu, bertarikh arini, rupa2nya bagitahu yg ade 'mystery disease' affecting burung2 dan angsa2 kat Lough. byk burung2 mati. hampir 20 ekor semuanya. disyaki botulism, hasil dr pembiakan bakteria2 di dasar lough yg menyerang central nervous system burung2 kat Lough menyebabkan binatang2 lumpuh dan mati. alahai..sedihnya..dh la kami on the way ke Lough. mcm Allah nak tunjukkan, jgn pegi Lough sbb ade penyakit kat situ. Alhamdulillah.terus suh hubby kensel the plan nakgi Lough. hubby plak insist nak tgk Lough from far.so,kami pegi jugak lalu Lough naik kereta. a'ah...tak byk angsa2 kat situ.selalunya penuh. byk yg dh mati rasanya..sedih betul...

anyway, we headed to Fitzgerald Park instead. 'qada hajat' kat situ.haha. saje jalan2 tgk bunga2 di waktu summer. sayangnya, x lama, terus terasa nak kencing lagi.aduh, mmg susah jd org mengandung ni. kalaula boleh bawak toilet sekali ke mana2.huhu.dh la toilet kat Fitzgerald PArk out of service. hubby siap suggest kencing kat dlm bush kat situ. huhu..taknakla..

sambil2 menahan kencing, smptla sama2 ngan hubby bagi makan roti kami bwk dr rumah kat itik2 kat tasik kat Fitzgerald Park. tak lama kemudian, after snapping few pictures, kami pergi ke Dunnes Store mencari toilet.hihi...

sblm balik,smpt jugakla sambar baju baby kat Dunnes bersama buah water melon. hubby cakap, 'kene jimat skrg sbb kita dh x kije'. hehe...tp setiapkali kami keluar,mesti habis duit. ehhe...tp bukan membazir la..beli bende yg perlu shj...

5 days....

~~~ibu~~~

tak sabarnya nak tunggu baby.perut ibu asyik menegang this past few days. sakit juga. baby ada harapan nak kuar lagi awal ke?

ANC @ 38 weeks + visit from friends

pagi2 bgn awal...sbb appointment arini pukul 8.30am...selalunya lewat2 dlm pukul 9.30am camtu...

lps bersiap2, terus pegi. rupanya ramai betul org kat outpatient clinic pg ni.penuh sampai xde sgt seat kosong. hubby kene berdiri sbb segan ramai ibu mengandung xde seat.sian die. dah la lama jugak menunggu sblm dipanggil nurse ke bilik.huhu...

lepas sejam lebih menunggu, nombor ku dipanggil. tak byk yg dicheck. nurse ty psl overall condition. bagitahu la yg i have this mild swelling in hands after bgn tdo which will go away after that. other than that, i'm fine.

check BP which was ok. urine pon NAD. Hb nurse x check since Hb was ok on the previous visit. mmg x lama pon jumpe nurse sbb lps tu, terus disuruh menunggu kat dpn bilik consultation.

x lama menunggu, nama ku dipanggil. x ingat dah nama doktor tu, tp rasenye bukan consultant, reg mungkin.afetr ty overall general condition,
doctor terus suruh lie down for scan. Alhamdulillah...baby ok.siap kicking lagi ms scan td.hehe. amniotic fluid pockets pon byk. alhamdulillah...altho td growth and weight x match week gestation, tp doctor tu trgkan yg by this stage, mmg scan x accurate sgt utk determine both-weight and size. brain baby+femur length pon normal.Alhamdulillah...

so, mmg confirm admission on the 12th, and IOL on the 13th...harap2 semua ok la...
em, balik hosp, terus gi Wilton....saje jalan2 nak cari air minum. td pg bwk bekal muffin ke hospital tp segan nak mkn kat sana, plus xde air nak minum. so, gi wilton nak beli drink and hubby pon nak belikan kad appreciation utk say thank u kat consultant die kat Bons.

tgh2 kat Wilton, tima call.rupenye die kat Cork skrg ngan Mish'al. Amin dh flew back to Belfast smlm. so,ajak die dtg rumah.

balik rumah, sambil2 tunggu Mish'al and Tima dtg, sediakan pengat pisang (tp x jd sbb pekat sgt+ pisang keras). huhu...

dlm pukul 1.30pm, tima dtg dgn izzah sekali. kami jamu ape yg ada sambil tgk movie.seronok betul tgk mish'al bergelak ketawa td. hehe...
ade la dlm 3 movies jugak kami tgk. roque joined us afterwards on her way balik dr bandar.seronok bile get together ramai2..hehe...

hubby yg mengantuk pons segar je matanya.hehe...rajin betul hubby menggoreng2 hari ni.dr keropok, ke sosej.rajin buat air utk guests plak tu. hehe...thanks hubby.rajin die...=) dahla balik hospital td rajin mengemas peti sejuk yg penuh dgn ais tu. huhu..jasamu tak terbalas.

guests balik dlm pukul 8pm. mish'al dh ngantuk tp tdo kejap2 je..sian die...tp seronokla bile ramai2..hehe...i wish the happiness continues bile ade baby nanti...hopefully...wishful thinking...

6 days...

~~~ibu~~~

less than a week from now...
i used to think positively about the outcome of this pregnancy, but not for this past few days. i dont know..my mind kinda rejected all the positive thoughts, and only instilled all the bad and negatives ones.

Afraid of Unknown...the best way to describe what i am feeling now.

i dont know...i want to dream ... to have a baby, bring him home, have him in my room, nurse him when he is hungry, hubby happy seeing the baby...

but what i have in mind is totally out of the place...i dream of coming home after delivery with empty handed, red eyes, tears streaming down my cheeks, and no baby! i dont know...am i stressed out about this coming labour?

at one stage, i want this phase to be passed quickly.i want to deliver at this very second. but then, at another, i dont know whether this may be the last chance of having him inside me. of bearing him inside my womb, feeling him moving. thus, make me feel like stopping the clock, the hour altogether...i want to treasure this feeling while i have him inside me.i dont want to lose him while i have him...i dont know...

ya Allah...please give me the strength and determination,to undergo this phase all over again. please... I want a baby soo much!!

sudoku...

i have been developing this 'fancyness' towards playing S.U.D.O.K.U
this past few weeks. thanks to hubby who was the person encouraging me to play this game. i still remember the conversation we had when he started to suggest me to indulge myself into playing sudoku.

one day, he said to me when he got home from work, 'my consultant said if we dont use our brain, it will get rusty'. 'sudoku is the best game to stimulate the brain'. 'and its good for baby's brain development too'

i remember the conversation we had, in patches.could not remember exactly why he wanted me to play the game. maybe he wants the baby to be super-genius like him in Maths (so that the baby can enter the Olympiad) ;p,
but i complained to him that time that sudoku is a difficult game to play. i always ended up could not find the numbers to fill in the blanks. and i will get fed up easily if that happens.

i thought the game is by playing guesssing what number should we put in the blank boxes. how wrong i am. Actually,it is a game where u play by scrutinizing, and evaluating, what number and where should we fill in the number, so that we dont get the same number horizontally or vertically.

i started to play with it.it was hard in the beginning, i took almot one whole day just to finish the 'easy level' of sudoku. then, it becomes easier and easier by practice. i started to develop this 'eagle eye', looking for the correct number to put in the correct boxes. from few hours initially, i managed to reduce the time consume to finish each sudoku in few minutes (well, half an hour or less). i was so proud of myself. hehe...

and then,just for suka-suki, i participated in sudoku daily quiz in www.pigsback.com. i did not get to be the winner for the past few days i tried, but i do not want to succumb to it. today, i entered the quiz at 12.01 midnight last night. i just want to be the first person to play the sudoku in order to increase the chance of me winning the game. it was a surprise the next morning that i figured out that i was the winner of the day!!!! yeay!!!super-duper excited!! i rang hubby at work straight away to announce the result. yeay!!!happy!!!

i was rewarded 1000 piggy points to be the winner of the game, in which it equals to 10 euros. which means, i can either claim the 10 euros as a voucher, or claim for any rewards listed. in my mind, i was thinking of either claim it as A-wear 10 euros voucher, or 10euros value of o2 credit top-up. yeay..rezeki.

happy..happy...happy!!!!!i'm so happy to be the winner. Alhamdulillah...happy!!!

7 days to go...

~~~ibu~~~

another week to go. the same day next week i will be admitted to CUMH at 12 noon. and tomorrow i have to go to CUMH for my 38 weeks' check up. and they gonna do vaginal examination this time.huhu..cuak.

plus, i received a news from a fren today. I used to follow this one blog belongs to nidana's fren, as she is having the same EDD as mine. the thing is, she already delivered her baby boy yesterday. huhu... cant wait to have mine soon.

anyway, as the day comes closer, makes my heart beats faster. i dont know what future holds for me, but i'm praying for the best. hopefully, everything goes on smoothly this time. insyaAllah...

Visit from friends...

today, roque and shikin dropped by to my house on their way to the city. shikin came over and brought with her my bengkung shich i specially ordered from malaysia. thanks abah and che for buying me new bengkung altogether, although i just asked for the used one. i guess they could not find the old bengkung, hence the reason they give me a new one. heheh ;) i know the trick.

anyway, we managed to watch 'One Missed Call' scary movie while finishing eating our pizzas. well, i've been craving to eat pizza since the last few days, and it was very fortunate to have them over so i just ordered Domino's Pizza and ate it together with them. but i dont know.the pizza tasted slightly hotter this time.

anyhow, it was great to have company at home since hubby is oncall today. boring! yes...BORING.hehe...

baby,i'm so sorry since ibu finished drinking the Sprite soft drink although ibu knew it's not good for baby and ibu's health. ibu felt guilty, but yet, ibu still finished the drink. no wonder baby ibu moving endlessly. penangan caffeine ye syg?sorry dear...

8 days...

~~~ibu & baby~~~

ibu dh recheck beg hospital baby. insyaAllah semua dah cukup lengkap. baju baby dh bertambah hasil tangkapan ibu semalam. hehe...baby janji kene pakai semua baju ibu beli ok? ;)

beg hospital ibu belum ibu sort out lagi. ibu xde baju nak bwk ke hospital. nak cari yg sng pakai, tp semua mcm x sesuai.huhu...

ke ibu patut shopping utk baju ibu pulak lps ni???

ehe..ayah sure geleng kepala..ibu ni asyik shopping saje. =) alah, sekali sekala...ape salahnya kan baby? ;)

Shopping...

shopping x ingat arini...
hehe..Adam Kids ada sale. seronok..
dalam pukul 3pm lebih keluar rumah. janji ngan hubby jumpe kat sana bile die balik dr kije. pastu, bile sampai sana, rambang mata, semua nak beli.alih2 byk giler diangkut kat tgn. plak tu xde bakul.huhu

since kat tgn tu dah x larat dah nak angkut, so, decide nak pegi byr yg kat tgn tu dulu. mak ai, pjg betul queve. dgn perut yg sarat ni,nak beratur pon x larat. sampai sakit2 belakang. siap ade salesgirl tu tolong offer angkut semua brg tu letak kat cashier so that i dont have to carry them. hehe..byk ok. die pon nampak kesian sbb tgk kene carry baju2 penuh tgn plus perut yg kembang ni..hehe..

pastu, beratur byr. 2 paper bag penuh baju dalam 98euros camtu. hehe..puas hati. byk beli baju dari 0 to 12 months je. hehe..bile hubby dtg, hubby yg kene angkut semua paper bag tu.hehe..x larat. byk sgt. berat plak tu.

nak shoppping lagi, tp hubby kate, sudahla..dh byk ni. ehe...tp mmg niat nak shopping lagi lps2 ni. tgkla..kalau larat.hehe..

sblm balik dr Merchant's quay, kami beli HB swirl ice cream sambil jalan balik ke Eastern Tandoori. ehe..hari ni mood nak shopping and mkn luar. saje nak try eastern tandoori sbb halal n x penah pegi mkn kat situ lagi sblm ni. okayla..3 course meal for 16euros. tapi kami byr lebih sikit sbb order soft drink.hehe...tp hubby cakap, lps habis makan semua, yg die lagi prefer Ruen Thai. lagi value for meal.hehe..betul.. kat Ruen Thai dpt dessert.kat Eastern Tandoori takde dessert pon.


overall, sgt excited arini sbb shopping dgn gamak sekali.ehe...mcm x penah shoppping sblm ni.ehe...sgt suke.sgt hepi. baby hepi x??ibu suke tgk baju baby byk2..hehe..

nak shopping lagi!! x saba nak tunggu NEXT sale..hihi..

same name...

today, i was blog hopping when i came accross this blog www.afadzlismail.blogspot.com.

the thing that attracted me to read on on his blog because he announced the arrival of his 2nd newborn son named Ayman Nawfal. what interested me most is because i was contemplating to name my 2nd son with Ayman, the same name as their son, with the same way of writing Y instead of I for Ayman.

then, it strucked me twice when i soon learnt that their first son's name is Afnan (full name:Afnan Nu'man). hehe...is taqdir bring me to his blog?is taqdir wants me to go ahead and named our 2nd son with Ayman??i dont know. but i believe it's coincidence and fate to have the same 2 names for our and their son. (even tho our sons' name are simpler than theirs).

not to forget, their afnan was born on the same year as our Afnan. and Ayman, their
2nd son is born last month, while my 'Ayman' will be born in next 9 days. i dont know. shall i change the name?i dont know. i kinda like the name. has told hubby and hubby seemed agree with my choice. ntahla...

huhu...Afnan and Ayman...

9 days to go...

~~~ibu~~~

ade 9 hari lagi...
kawan2 ibu yg expecting, mcm Mus dah bersalin baby girl 3 hari lepas (30/6/09)
Nidana pulak, walaupun usia kandungan lagi muda dari ibu, dh dapat baby girl 2.1 kg melalui Caesarean section 1/7/09 aritu..

nampaknya, ibu is the next one...

takutlah baby..

ibu nak amalkan surah Maryam. sebagai doa masa bersalin nanti. doakan ibu ye sayang.

ibu nak jumpa baby..9 hari je lagi. sabar2...

GP visit @37 weeks +Dinner Celebration

semalam, gi GP visit buat kali terakhir sblm lahirkan baby. 37 plus 3 smlm.
hubby temankan since die abes kije awal smlm. sepatutnya die dah x kije smlm, but HR mintak dia cover till 9.30am, and also cover wards hari khamis dan jumaat.

so, since hubby balik awal, hubby pon temankan gi jumpa GP. Appointment at 4.15pm. Alhamdulillah, tunggu x lama pon sbb GP tu dah panggil after about few minutes waiting.

GP tanya overall condition. Alhamdulillah, i'm doing grant. no problem.no sudden swelling etc.
die check BP which was fine. urine pon NAD. Baby siap bergerak2 lagi masa Aileen (GP) tu examined perut. Doppler pon ok. Alhamdulillah. sebelum keluar, die wish me all the best dan die hope to see me at my baby's 2 week's check up. hihi..lega...

tak lama pon jumpa GP. i guess i was the 1st person she saw that evening. sbb die start masuk pukul 4ptg smlm.

anyway, kami pon pulang. dlm perjalanan, gi tgk2 sale kat Debenham's. ade blue cross sale. tp x beli pape. pastu, singgah Smyth toys, belikan baby Disney's sun parasol kebetulan offer. pastu, tgk2 tp x beli ape2 jugak.

dlm kepala plan nak ajak hubby makan kat Ruen Thai restaurant. teringat asma' penah kata Tom Yum Gung kat situ sedap. so, ajakla hubby alang2 nak celebrate our 4th year wedding anniversary which supposed to be the day before tapi x boleh celebrate since hubby oncall. dlm perjalanan, hubby jumpa Afwan, kawan karib die masa kat KMYS yg skrg bekerja kat mercy as surgical intern. hubby borak2...

pastu,x lama lps tu, kami berpisah. kami terus menuju Ruen Thai, lapar ni.eheh..
kami order early bird menu, 3 meal course for 19.50euros. okayla...

hubby order red bean coconut soup, while me order sweet and sour prawn. bestla jugak. we ended makan dessert ice cream yg sedap. okayla restoren tu. kalaula x byk tangga, lagi best kot. yg x best sbb kene panjat tangga tinggi2. even nakgi toilet pon kene panjat tangga lagi.huhu...

kami pulang pukul 8 mlm smlm. hubby smbung tgk citer die download, but me, i was too tired. tertidur kat bahu die sambil menonton. huhu...

best la smlm...ehe...suka jalan2 ngan hubby kat bandar time die free. plus, i hope bila jalan2 byk2 ni, baby lagi sng nak kuar, kan baby??

10 days...

~~~baby~~~

pagi td, lepas bgn tidur, bagitahu hubby yg baby tgh gerak2...

tiba2, hubby kata, 'semalam masa awak tidur pon baby aktif gerak2'.
la..iye ke??ehe..dlm tidur mana la nak perasan...hehe..baby ibu ni aktif betul. ibu suka tau.

anyway, ibu x saba nak gi Adam's Kid jumaat ni nak beli baju baby. hopefully sale die hebat. pastu, 18 july ade sale kat next. ibu nak cari baju baby jugak nanti.ehe...ibu suke shopping la skrg.semua sbb anak ibu sorang ni.ehe..kalau boleh, ibu nak beli baju baby sampai 2-3 tahun terus. ehe...

syg baby ibu! lagi 10 hari...berdebar2..dup dap dup dap.

11 days...

~~~ibu~~~

lagi 11 hari...
argh...x sabarnya ibu. tapi takut. ibu x saba nak pegang baby. nak jumpa baby. nak peluk baby. nak susukan baby. nak besarkan baby.
tapi pd ms yg sama, ibu takut kalau something bad happened kat baby ms labour nanti. ibu takut baby mati tinggalkan ibu lagi mcm abang Afnan. ibu takut baby x sihat. ibu takut baby x sempurna. ibu takut ibu tak boleh menerima kenyataan. ibu takut.
tapi sbnrnye, ibu dah nekad, baby kurniaan Allah yg ibu akan terima dgn hati yg terbuka. ibu syg baby. and ibu akan buat apa saja utk baby. ibu janji.baby anak ibu. akan tetap jd anak ibu sampai bila2..
ibu syg baby... be healthy ya baby.